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I
Thou
shalt not hesitate at the breakdown, but be mighty in the seizing
of your rightful ball; for though it is written that the meek shall
inherit the earth, this is in truth but a poor translation. The
meek shall be trampled into the dirt is more to the point.
II
Thou
shalt not speak profanely of the Whistler, nor question the purity
of his birth, even though he be blind to the transgressions of the
evildoers among thine enemies at the ruck and the maul, and whistleth
them not.
III
Thou
shalt not smite thine enemies with an clenched fist, yet, even in
retaliation; for it is written that the Whistler and the Flag Waver
shall assuredly be blinded to the coward which delivereth the first
punch, only to see that which avengeth it second. Believeth thou
then that what goeth round it shall surely come to pass again, and
verily, in the fullness of time, the evil among men shall surely
be found at the bottom of the ruck.
IV
Thou
shalt not kiss thy teammate on the mouth, even when he hath scored;
for such is an abomination unto the iRB, especially he that kisseth
in tongues, unless it cometh to pass that thou shouldst play with
the circular balls, for then it is truly expected of thee.
V
Thou
shalt not take the Word of the Lord thy Coach in vain, for blessed
is the Word of that Lord. Verily, thou shalt wonder at His mighty
wisdom and sticketh thou then to His Game Plan lest He acquainteth
thee with these of his disciples who labour in the lower grades.
VI
Thou
shalt not chip nor kick for touch if thou be numbered amongst the
props or if thou wear any jersey below that of the number 9; for
this is an abomination unto the Word of the Lord thy Coach, and
surely shalt thy soul and thy body be His at training, perhaps in
everlasting pain.
VII
Thou shalt not run across the field with the ball in hand, but see
that thou runneth straight ahead upfield; for it is written in the
Word of the Lord thy Coach that the touchline is the best defender.
VIII
Thou
shalt not kick the ball to the hands of thine enemies unless first
thou maketh it to bounce; for then the Spirit of the Bounce of the
Ball shall bring confusion among them, and if thy heart be pure,
shall command that it bounceth back unto you.
IV
Thou shalt not pass the ball to a brother thy team-mate about to
be smashed by thine enemies, unless it be known to all men that
he oweth you money, or hath porked someone dear to your heart, in
which case all shall be forgiven and then, verily, thou mayest pass
to him right slowly and on high.
X
Thou
shalt not vomit upon the brethren of thy team after the game, nay
even though thou hast partaken right fully of the waters of Guinness
or of the entrails of pigs in a pie or of the beans which baketh
right slowly in an earthen crock, for this shall be deemed unmanly
in the eyes of thy brethren, and they mayest do it unto you
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